


veins running silver (gold coated fibers)

by sunflowersforhyuck (thedawnbeforethesunrise)



Category: NCT
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Astronomy, Coffee date, Developing Relationship, Flirting, Friendship/Love, Full Moon, Isolation, Lab partners that are into each other, Loneliness, M/M, Renjun is a moon child, rj finds someone who understands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:21:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29462694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedawnbeforethesunrise/pseuds/sunflowersforhyuck
Summary: The blessing of the moon has followed Renjun’s family for generations, a long line of silver-haired beings with pearl shine dripped in their blood.He hates it more than anything in the world.(On nights where the full moon appears, Renjun hides away from the rest of the modern world. All he wants, though, is to be able to sit under the stars with Jaemin).
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin
Comments: 46
Kudos: 146
Collections: Challenge #5 — I heard a secret..





	veins running silver (gold coated fibers)

**Author's Note:**

> I was gonna write chenji but then I had a revelation about this story so here it is
> 
> I miss astronomy class ;; it was so fun 
> 
> for a little wonder fest <3

When Renjun was born, his fate was sealed by tufts of translucent white locks and snow-dusted lashes. 

His hair faded into black soon after, but that didn’t take away what all of it meant. His mother knew the moment he first came into the world. The blessing of the moon has followed Renjun’s family for generations, a long line of silver-haired beings with pearl shine dripped in their blood. 

Every few generations, a new child of the moon is born. Not everyone in the family gets the fortune. The previous one was Renjun’s great grandmother, and this generation, Renjun wins the luck of the draw. 

He hates it more than anything in the world.

It’s inconvenient, first and foremost. A full moon occurs roughly every month, and its presence triggers Renjun’s curse. His raven hair washes out into silvery white, and his lashes glint diamonds. His skin takes on a sort of internal gleam, pearlescent and fair in the dark of the night, entirely too eye catching to do anything inconspicuously. The curse starts in the morning the day of, gradually steeping him in moonlight until he reaches completion in the night. He spends those days of the full moon at home.

His relatives would always try to spin it to be something spectacular. Renjun is the chosen one, they would say. He’s the true descendant of the moon. At family gatherings, Renjun would be cooed over, praised for doing nothing but exist. But over time, he learns that his spectacularity is not one to be shared or flaunted to anyone outside of the Huang household. He is a precious jewel destined to be eclipsed by the shadows. 

Just as the moon exists in solitude, Renjun must do the same. 

  
  


🌑

  
  


No one knows his secret. 

At least, no one he associates with in university. Even his best friends, Donghyuck and Jisung, have the truth withheld from them, and Renjun prefers it that way. Over time, through various failed attempts to tell someone, he’s lost the resolve. Building up the courage only to chicken out becomes exhausting after a while. He doesn’t want to be alone forever, but to have another bear the weight of this other part of him is a daunting task, for him and for them. 

There have been close calls, like the time Jisung dropped by to pick up his forgotten hoodie, or the time Donghyuck tried to surprise Renjun for a fast food run. Both times, Renjun had insisted that he was very sick. He’s become quite good at being convincing over the years. 

He lives alone to avoid exposing himself. It’s for the best, to avoid potential problems, but the loneliness sinks its claws deeper into him the longer he thinks about it. It’s a lot of traipsing around at home, in his little apartment in this college town, disillusioned as he stares at the night sky. 

The cognitive dissonance of everything is so strong, it makes Renjun’s skull split. He hates the moon, but he, like all the other cursed individuals in the past, is reliant on it. Renjun is physically weaker than the average human because the sun drains him. Like a twisted tie that binds him for life, he becomes the picture of health the closer the days get to the full moon every month. In his daily life, Renjun has to be diligent with his habits, and keep a cap on in the sun as he walks to class. Tedious affairs, all because he needs the moon to be strong, as if the basic biological rights of being a human have been ripped away from him. 

There is nothing worse than being bound to a celestial body, shackled by its hold, and Renjun feels the most alone when he realizes he is the only one alive who understands that feeling.

  
  


🌘

  
  


When he meets Jaemin, something inside of him wilts.

Renjun thinks it has something to do with the fact that Jaemin is entirely too bright to look at. He overpowers a room, keeps people interested, and does all of this without saying much of anything. He’s an observer, a watcher of people, much like Renjun. 

By pure luck, Jaemin is his partner for their astronomy lab, a class that they share. 

Night labs are a requirement in the course. Renjun will never forgive himself for making the idiotic decision to pick a class that spends half of its time outdoors at _night_ , looking at star maps and coordinates. It’s all fine and good until one of the labs happens to be scheduled on a full moon. 

And it does happen, of course. 

Renjun curses under his breath. The professor just went over the expectations for their lab this week, the dreaded lab occurring when the moon reaches its full form. Midway through the quarter, Renjun thought he was safe from exposure, but unfortunately, sometimes terrible things align perfectly with the rest of the world’s timeline. 

At the front, the professor is drawing on the whiteboard, dry erase marker squeaking. Renjun feels his anxiety spike. 

“It’ll be fun this week, looking at the full moon.” Jaemin is grinning softly.

“About that…” Renjun sighs. “I have a...family thing.”

“During our usual _weekly_ lab time?” 

“It was hard to get out of.” 

“Huh.” Jaemin is looking right through him. Renjun feels it. “Okay. That’s fine.” 

Guilt seeps through his words, and Renjun slumps in his seat. Jaemin doesn’t deserve this, the inconvenience of Renjun’s predicament.

Jaemin speaks again. “But...you still have to help me do the pre-lab workup.” 

When Renjun glances over, Jaemin is already looking at him, mirth glinting in his large eyes. They’re beautiful, dark and effulgent at the same time, adorned by feathery lashes.

Renjun loses his breath, for that second, when Jaemin smiles at him and asks, “Do you want to meet tomorrow to work on it? Get coffee or something?”

It’s innocent, all business, but Renjun is swimming in Jaemin’s eyes and he can’t stop feeling like it means something. “Okay. Tomorrow afternoon?” 

“Sounds good.” Jaemin nods. 

Renjun swears he sees Jaemin’s cheeks flush, tinged red ears. That in turn makes him equally hot under his skin, burning like he’s being dipped into the sun alive. Something simmers, warm and frequent, underneath Renjun’s cool exterior, something that scares him and excites him at the same time. 

But then he remembers who he is, what kind of life he leads, and everything fades into background noise.

  
  


🌗

  
  


When they meet at the coffee place, Jaemin sticks to what he says, which is to get work done for their class. But in between researching answers and going over procedures, they chat about each other. It’s been half a quarter of this class, but Renjun learns he doesn’t know that much about Jaemin. 

He laughs a lot during their time together. They exchange childhood stories and Renjun learns they’re quite similar in some aspects. Jaemin is an only child as well, growing up in the mountains. He likes to think deeply about things and analyze them. But he’s starkly different from Renjun too; he thrives on the outdoors, loves sitting in the sunlight. He soaks it in during the summer. “I get really tan, almost golden.” He had joked. He can’t stay up at night because he gets sleepy quite easily in the dark. 

They’re too different; that is Renjun’s biggest takeaway. Maybe it’s part of his agenda to find things about Jaemin that just won’t mesh with him, because he wants to separate them as much as possible. 

But it’s hard when Jaemin is caring too, noticing Renjun’s discomfort in the sun. It’s hard when despite the differences Renjun poses to himself, Jaemin still feels like a perfect fit, like all of the parts falling together seamlessly. They couldn’t be more different, Renjun moody and dark, Jaemin bright and sunny, but it is the contrast that Renjun finds the most exciting. 

Jaemin is everything he isn’t, but he likes that. 

By the time they have to go, the sun has started to set. Heat succumbs to the cool wind, and Renjun feels better with the waning sunlight. Jaemin’s wave and smile are seared into his memory bank, stored away with all of the other snippets that he’s come to collect throughout their weeks of class. They accumulate like fiery sparks in the night, fleeting and pretty. 

Renjun can’t smother the truth, no matter how hard he tries.

  
  


🌖

  
  


Tomorrow is the day. 

Renjun is prepared. He checked to make sure he still had enough food and drink. He emailed proper absences to his professors who require attendance at lectures. He had his stories lined up to be regurgitated to his friends. Everything was ready for tomorrow. No one will see him for the entire day, and everyone will forget Renjun exists for an entire twenty four hours. 

Tomorrow morning, he will become an entity unfit for this world. He’ll wake up as a sliver of the moon existing in the day, right in the reign of the sun. His hair will lose its black color and return to its first form, a fine, translucent silver. Renjun will be breathtaking and overwhelming, a prize to be tucked away, treasured by no one. 

He dreams of going out without having to hide.

  
  


🌕

  
  
  


_JAEMIN: hey I just thought of this, but. Do you think you could sneak away during your family thing and video chat me during lab?_

It’s the day of the lab, the full moon. Renjun is in his room eating lunch. The blackout curtains have been drawn, and he hasn’t seen the sun at all today. His desk lamp serves as his temporary solar star. 

_RENJUN: ...Idk. Maybe I can call you?_

_JAEMIN: well, if you can call me, couldn’t you just video chat?_

It’s a fair point. Renjun purses his lips as he thinks. 

_RENJUN: I guess I can’t then. Sorry._

_JAEMIN: :( I didn’t mean to be pushy. I’m happy with a phone call._

He sighs before dropping his phone on his desk. For a second, he imagines being there in the field with Jaemin, both of them bundled in their coats and hats in the cold as their necks ache from staring up at the sky. Last week, Jaemin’s nose and cheeks at the end of the lab had been the prettiest red. He had lent Renjun his scarf at the time, taking care to wrap it carefully. 

Renjun feels guiltier than ever. 

_RENJUN: Okay. I’ll call you tonight._

  
  


🌕

  
  


Talking to Jaemin makes Renjun feel better. 

By the time the sun sets, Renjun is already in full blossom. His hair is fully silver, bespeckled by the tiniest stars and pinpoint lights, strands silky on his head. His body is swathed in the moon’s diamonds and draped in the constellations he studies. He covers himself up in hoodies and sweatpants to dim the glow, but it’s hard to contain. The light still peeks through the tight weaves. 

Renjun makes the call. Jaemin works fast after getting settled in, chatting as he goes. The labs are quite simple, and Renjun wonders if they usually take longer because they talk a lot during their observations. Within the first hour of the lab, Jaemin finishes what they need. They stay on the phone though, Jaemin pointing out some of the constellations and their positions in the sky tonight.

“ _I’m gonna be honest...using the telescope is so much better when you’re here._ ” Jaemin laughs quietly and it sends tingles down Renjun’s spine. 

He softly hums. “What do you mean?” 

“ _Well, you know how to use it better than I do._ ” 

Renjun picks at the hole in his pants, seeing the sheen of his skin from underneath the worn fabric. “I do not. You’re the one who gives me instructions.” 

“ _Maybe I just think it’s more fun when you’re here._ ” It’s a quiet admittance.

Renjun still turns red under luminescent flesh.

“ _What can you see? From your parents’ place?_ ” 

“Uh,” Renjun panics, forgetting his own lie. “I see...Orion’s belt. Cassiopeia.” 

Jaemin laughs. " _I_ _t must be nice to look at the stars by the water._ ” 

Renjun had told him his parents’ house was by the sea, which isn’t a lie. But Renjun is trapped in his apartment rather than back home, where he claims to be. He swallows down the guilt rising from his chest. “It’s whatever. You get used to it.” 

“ _I’d like to see that, though. I’m sure it wouldn’t be boring._ ” 

“Maybe you can come see. One day.” Renjun squeezes his eyes shut, mouthing curses. 

Jaemin laughs, startlingly crisp and sweet. “ _I would like that. Really._ ” 

Renjun pulls up the collar of his hoodie to cover his mouth, mulling over the thought. He can already picture Jaemin sitting in his backyard, taking in the sea breeze and the crashing waves. 

Then he makes a mistake. 

Jaemin poses the question. “ _So when are you coming back from your parents?_ ” 

“Oh, probably tonight.” Renjun curls into his blankets on his bed. “I have class tomorrow.” 

There’s a long pause, a moment begging questions. “Jaemin?” 

“ _I don’t know if this is okay, but...I have some written notes that I wanted you to take a look at. Could I come over?_ ”

Something plummets inside Renjun, ice sliding down his back. “Oh, uh. I mean, you can just take a picture and let me take a look.” 

“ _Ah, okay. That works too. Sorry if that was forward._ ” 

It’s quiet, leaving Renjun to ponder what just happened. He feels the urge again, the desire to reach out and reveal the truth, pulsing right under the thick sheen of moonlight coating his skin. _Is it worth it?_ The question swirls in his head. Rejection is slick and heady on the back of his mind, fear growing thorny veins around his heart. He's done this before, the buildup before the climax; he's never been brave enough to reveal his secret. But most of all, the vulnerability scares him, because while the moon is his enemy, it is a sacred part of who he is. It is the stripped down core of his being, his exposed self.

But maybe, just maybe, the years of disparate loneliness will unravel with one person. He trusts Jaemin, somehow, to stay after learning the truth. It's a gamble, placing everything he has on a boy he's getting to know, and Renjun doesn't do reckless. He doesn't, but—

His desperation heightens. Frantic, longing, yearning. 

“Actually. I, um—” Renjun blurts awkwardly. “I think you can come over...” 

Jaemin is still silent. “ _Are you sure?_ ” 

His heart is about to burst through his chest. His eyes shut slowly. “Yes.” 

  
  


🌕

  
  


He thinks he might die. 

Standing at the entrance, Renjun is a mess. He’s pacing around the kitchen, feet shuffling along the hardwood. When he stops in front of the door, he ends up moving again, muttering assurances. He catches a flash of himself in the reflection of his black kettle, silvery and lambent. Shrinking into his frame, his fingers crawl to grip the strings of his hoodie, the hood put up to cover his hair. 

This is a mistake. This is the right choice. This is the end. 

Jaemin had texted him saying he’ll be there soon. Soon is a vague term, and Renjun craves absolute. He’s more terrified than he’s ever been in his life. A part of him wishes he never said anything, never met Jaemin and was never kind to him. Renjun wishes he didn’t exist at all, so that he wouldn't have had to make this decision. 

The loud knock makes him jump violently. 

“Renjun?” 

As if launched, he hurls himself to the door, clinging to the wood. “Wait, I—I need to warn you.” 

Jaemin laughs, muffled. “I don’t care how messy your apartment is.” 

“It’s not that. It’s—” Renjun hears the panic rise up his throat, choking his words. Fear carves a dip in his chest. “You don’t understand.” 

“Are you okay? Renjun?” 

“Please don’t be shocked.” 

There’s a long pause. “Renjun, if you’re uncomfortable, I can go. Really, it's fine.” 

Renjun is already holding the doorknob. He has it all ready, unlocked and turned, and all that’s left is to swing it open. There is a long stretch of silence, roped in anxiety. His knuckles, luminescent, are white from his tight grip. He has to open it. He needs to. 

The door creaks as it opens, and Renjun can’t face the light.

He sees Jaemin’s black slip-on Vans. Then he hears the soft gasp. His throat closes up and he can’t breathe, pulse rocking his body. Renjun flinches as the moon catches sight of him, brilliantly and horrifyingly. All of his greatest fears rise to the surface, settling on his need to huddle in his warm bedroom away from everyone, from the eyes of one particular person. It hits him that this is someone who barely knows him. He might not be someone who has known Renjun for years, but he could be. This might ruin everything.

Jaemin stays put where he is. Renjun steels his nerves and cautiously turns his gaze upwards. 

All he sees is wonderment. 

“You’re…” Jaemin’s eyes dart everywhere. 

Renjun shakes his head, looking away. “Don’t.” 

“I just—I can’t—.” 

“Don’t say anything. I’m...so scared right now.” Renjun whispers, voice thick. 

It comes out in a breathless epiphany. “You’re a child of the moon.” 

Renjun’s head snaps back at the statement. He can't feel his own weight. 

“What did you say?” 

Jaemin takes a step forward, hands carefully reaching for Renjun’s hood. Stunned, Renjun lets Jaemin pull it down, silver locks tumbling out from underneath. There is a moment where Jaemin’s eyes widen and a rapid cycle of emotions pass through him. 

Renjun can’t process. “How did you—” 

“I—you’re…” Jaemin’s mouth opens and closes. “I’m the sun.” 

Something changes. The words barely register before Jaemin speaks again, voice clear.

“I’m the child of the sun.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> renmin come home
> 
> surprise (or not) Jaemin and Renjun are two halves of a whole *slow clap* 
> 
> This was actually incredibly difficult to put together because of worldbuilding and pacing...
> 
> Pls leave comments and kudos and go support all the fics !!! in this fest !!


End file.
